Pre-Op Fun Times

With PVNS you must have 2 things.  A sense of humor and the ability to laugh.  Also I find it easier to simply deny there is anything wrong with me.  Including denying that I'm in pain. 

Last week I went in for my pre-op appointment.  UW Medical is a teaching hospital so you deal with a team for your care.  I have 5 people on my team.  I'm getting to know them pretty well since I see them so often.  My surgeon Chris says "we can be friends but I don't want to see you".   Essentially saying he would rather fix my problem so I don't have to come back.  And we laugh.

One of the nurses.  I always forget her name.  I will refer to her as Rachel.  She speaks slowly and is a careful listener as I know I get extremely chatty when I'm nervous.  She nods and smiles with her huge sunflower eyes.  I told her, "Rachel!  I got a wheelchair.  It was at a thrift store.  I scored it for only $13 when new ones are around $60!"   She responds, "Holly!  I do NOT want you sitting around for long periods of time!",  I smile at her and say, "No Rachel, it's one of those kind that also acts like a walker.  I can put a basket on the seat and get things to eat from the kitchen instead of eating only that I can fit in the pockets of my robe when I'm on crutches.  I got the idea from another PVNS sufferer."  She agrees, "Good idea Holly!"

My next nurse who I will call Rashan because he has a name I really can't remember and in my head it's Zoltar but I know that is from the movie Big and not his real name.   Rashan is in charge of giving me all of the information and directions to be prepared for the day of surgery.  He hands me a big folder full of all the papers he has highlighted as he tells me, "Someone will call you the day before to let you know what time..."  I know all of this already so I'm nodding and finally say, "Rashan!  You are like my terrible travel agent and you are sending me off to a two week horrible vacation."  He laughs and I continue, "If you can go ahead and arrange for the surgery to be in a cabana on the beach and afterwards bring me margaritas every hour."  He looks disturbed and replies, "Well the only problem is that tropical climates breed disease.."  I cut him off, "Rashan!  Don't kill my dream!  Ok, then we do it on a local beach and you will need to bring portable heaters and paint tarps to look like blue sky so you can hang them over my head.  And you should let me try a hammock because that could be good at raising my leg."  He laughs.   We giggle about my parting gifts being 2 bars of soap I take with me to prepare for my surgery next week.